As I was taking a stroll through Rocky Mountain National Park on Sunday, I saw the craziest thing, a small cottage in the middle of a national forest. Due to my need to know why a cottage was there, I walk up to the house and knocked and knocked and knocked. No answer. Not thinking, I went in. From the kitchen, where oddly good looking porridge was still sitting out making my stomach grumble like thunder I decided to then enter the living room where three different lounge chairs were calling my weary legs. Resisting, I went to the bedroom where I observed or sensed that there were three beds. Being the scientist that I was, I inferred, or came to conclusion, that three people were living in this cottage. From there I wondered which type of bed the owners would sleep in the longest. With nothing to do until the owners arrived home I decreed an experiment to happen. My independent variable (IV) or what I change on purpose, would be the type of bed. I was to use the three beds, an air mattress, a regular mattress, and a water bed for my levels of IV (description of the "setups"). The amount of sleep I received from each bed would be labeled as my dependent variable, (what is measured).I would use hours as my unit of measure or what is used to measure the dependent variable with. At that very moment I knew my purpose (point of investigation) was to determine the effect of the type of bed on the time slept in each bed. I was glad to note that I had made a fair experiment by finding some constants or things that stay the same like using the same person to sleep on the beds and sleeping with one wool blanket. At the end of my third trial, about four days later, I awoke to the sound of angry bears. Shocked by the fact of the cottage belonging to the bears, I jumped out the window and ran, ran until I could run no further. The bears eventually caught up with me. With a sigh of relief, the bears weren't angry they were surprised, but liked a visitor every now and then. Turns out that I was wrong, the cottage was a den, for bears. My few days spent in the den were of the best and most scientific. I will now be reporting in the animal section in the following issue. Thank you!